Archive for the ‘Storm’ Category

Dear weather,

You have a sick sense of humor. I anticipated seeing a big storm last night which was Wednesday August 24th and what you gave me was a light show but nothing severe. I am not complaining about the lightning show as it was absolutely spectacular and I quite enjoyed it. Other people in my province did infact experience some crazy weather and there might have been a Tornado…or more than one for that matter.

What I am complaining about is the lack of constant power outtage durring the two lightning storms. You knocked our power on and off for a while but it managed to stay on through the storms. Once the storms were finished I set the blasted alarm clock for the 8th time for my husband as he has to wake up at 3am to go to work. Our internal clocks only recognize when it’s like 6am…we would both easily sleep past 3am. We then went to bed thinking, the storms were over.

12:30 am and our power starts to flicker on and off. It did so about 3 times before it stayed ON for more than 5 minutes. I started to set the damn alarm clock again and voila power off…power on…power off…power on…set al…nope power off. Power on again…set alarm and power on, off…on, off…on… The power flickered at least 10 times. Finally it stayed off for more than 10 minutes. Over a slight breeze and maybe a wee bit of lightning.

We faced a dilema. We don’t have cell phones (I know we’re cavemen) so we don’t have the option of setting a cellphone alarm. I could not find a 9 volt for the alarm clock either. We had no way of setting an alarm…so here I am writting this at 1:12 am because I have to stay awake until 3am to wake my husband up for work. I have no internet, but when I do I will be posting this letter as a blog. I am tired, my power is out while it’s CALM out there! I understand that thousands are without power but WHY??? Why does it only go off when the storms are FINNISHED???

I’m sure I shall discover why the power went so wonky, but for now here I sit, using Word Pad to type up a blog post. Waiting, waiting for 3am so I can switch places with my husband and go to bed. I feel like I’m on watch or something! But what am I watching out for? Oh yes that’s right 3am! Heck if the power is out at my husband’s work and if he shows up he doesn’t get paid until the power goes back on! So who knows how…oh wait, it’s 1:19am and it’s back on. Funnily enough another storm has just started! Why do you do this to me weather? Why? was it the egging on? I wasn’t egging you on I was Cheering you on because I really wanted to see a violent-ish storm!
The power is still on…hopefully I can tip toe to upstairs to set that alarm, no more power failure, the joke was hilarious, Haha hopefully I can go to bed now.

Fortunately the power stayed on. But I did not get to bed until 3am anyways as I burned myself with candle wax on my way back upstairs and my husband had a vomit fit because the funnel cake he decided to try and make Did Not agree with his stomach. And the power went out right before 3am AGAIN! What a night. 4 hours of sleep, guess I can’t complain, at least I got sleep. My Husband didn’t get any. sooo until next time Mother Nature…next time.

Thankyou for the nice Light show weather, just please, next time, if you are going to take our electricity away, don’t give us false hope by flickering it on and off 20-30 times. Thanks.

Sincerely, Jess From Norwood Ontario.

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Lifting off Burdens one at a time

Posted: June 25, 2011 in Faith, Storm

We all do it, talk behind friends backs all the time. Bash others to make our selves feel superior. I’m guilty of bashing many people. I’ve said harsh things, mean things and untruthful things. I’ve exaggerated, I’ve scoffed and torn people down. There is no way I can say I’m perfect because I am not nor will I ever be. There’s a fine line between hurtful insults and playful ones. I was in a deep hole that was making my heart rot. I judged but didn’t want to be judged myself. And I know I’m not alone, so many people do it.

But there came a time where I slowed down on my back talking. I stopped it with my friends but hesitated to stop with family matters. I think both are very important and if I can end bashing certain people no matter how much they get under my skin I can learn to do the same with family. Why cause drama? Why cause discomfort? Why poison my heart with senseless things? A great burden was lifted off my shoulder when I stopped to think before saying something mean about a friend or enemy, the same burden is lifted when I hold my tounge when I’m about to complain about family members. There is drama in both my side of the family and Nick’s which is very unfortunate, I wish all could get along. Posting complaints on Social networking is pointless and honestly people look down on that. We have all done our rants and those who have not, well that’s very smart. Ranting about your family or friends or co workers or enemies over facebook is not the best thing to do, while it may get a vent out it will bring darkness into our hearts and make it that much easier to vent and complain the next time. And it hurts me to see people’s statuses openely insulting people out of anger instead of concern. I have hurt people deeply because I’ve done such things and I regret it.

When I don’t say harsh things I feel free. When I forgive I am set free. I don’t care if the other person continues to be a pest, when I forgive I free myself from unessesary junk. If I can let go of a grudge then I can move on and be happy. I’ve released so many grudges and it caused so many friendship opportunities. Hearts were fixed. People began to trust me once again, I began to trust others. It’s absolutely wonderful. I’ve been forgiven by some in return and wonderful friendships were mended. There is nothing more rewarding than a mended friendship.

So being a forgiving person I have lifted a GREAT burden. This is just one of the burdens I carry and one that most carry as well. As I pray each day new burdens are lifted. I’ll admit I can’t do it on my own strength, I have had to rely on God for help. I have tried to forgive on my own and I never suceeded so I thank God Every day for taking my burdens away and setting me free. Relying on God is not a weakness it is a strength. And it’s a strength I will always admit so long as I live. There are just so many things hard to forgive but the Holy Spirit can come in and do it for you. There are so many people that are just not loveable but again, through Jesus it’s possible. I look at my mentors, those who love the unlovable, those who love the criminals, those who love the socially unaccepted and I see that they have had burdens lifted off thier shoulders so they can reach out to the unloveable and unforgiveable. I see this freedome and I want it. It’s possible.

I know I’ll stumble and slip but at the same time I will have victory each time I express self control and each time I have my thought process changed. Our greatest weakness is jumping to conclusions all the time then judging everyone. It’s time to stop judging, it’s time to stop bashing and it’s time to START reaching out with Love. Because without Love, the heart is unmendable.

I am free

The Great Journey.

Posted: April 10, 2011 in Storm

I was in search of a job and I landed a job with a conferencing company that specializes in Web and audio phone conferences. I admit that I was really nervous, I was facing a job that I had little experience in. I’m not a phone person or computer savvy. But I walked forward and accepted this job with gratefulness. I had anxiety throughout the entire process of obtaining this job. I had to work up the nerve to send my resume, I had to work up the nerve to call back for a phone interview, I had to work up the nerve to do the training and then I had to work up the nerve to do my first shift. Through it all I prayed, I needed strength to go through with this new experience. I needed the strength to move on and not back out. Through it all I was full of smiles, deep inside I was filled with anxiety but day after day I began to love my job. I was so happy that I accomplished my shifts. Each time I experienced something new and got over it I began to love my job.

I am an Operator so what I do is call in to a number and use a dashboard from the company, I need internet and phone. People get connected to me, I follow instructions that come up and connect them. It can be complicated and it can get overwhelming. Sometimes there is call after call other times no calls and I get paid to listen to the repetitive music for an hour. I have connected large companies, I have connected a well known News anchor, I have connected University students and hospitals, I deal with business people as well as Television people…there are all sorts of people who get connected to conferences. The most important thing to do is smile while on the phone, and hearing (Yes you can hear smiles) people smile back has made this job an awesome experience. I was so full of doubt when I started working for the company, I was in doubt that I was good at my job and I was in doubt that I would ever get promoted. I am a person who has a lot of self doubt. I believe anyone can do stuff but when it comes to me I just doubt.

I was feeling bad that I only had 8 hours a week while my husband worked full time weeks. I was feeling bad because I had failed in so many aspects of my life. When it comes to failure feelings I always get them. I feel like a failure because I brought my business into the dirt, I feel like a failure because I couldn’t fix friendships, I feel like a failure because I couldn’t get hired in town, I feel like a failure when I don’t clean the house good enough or can’t control my dog or when my daughter doesn’t listen to me. Ask my husband and he will tell you that I feel like a failure all the time. If I screwed up something in my new job…I felt like a failure. I blamed myself even if I wasn’t to blame. Glitches happen and it’s not my fault but I feel it is.

On Friday April 8th my mom told me to check my work email so I did. I almost fainted because the message indicated I had been promoted to moderator. The boss of the company liked my work so much that she decided I was worthy to not only operate for calls but to actually control conferences. My responsibilities went way up. Failure? No I didn’t feel like a failure on Friday. I don’t feel like one now. It’s so funny because I never expected to get promoted for another few months, My mom didn’t expect it, Nick didn’t either…I haven’t even gone through three months probation and I get promoted? What the heck did I do right? I took a job, I studied my job, I got interested in my job, I tried to do 100% in my job, I was content with my job even if it was only a few hours a week. The first thing I did when I got promoted was Thank the Lord because without him holding on to me I never would have gotten this far.

God can take small people and make them great, I believe this. Every single life experience defines who people are. Every mountain I have hurdled defines me. Every storm I go through is a new testimony. I might sometimes be a failure to this world but to God I am treasured. This means so much to me. I’ve screwed up so many times and yet I’m still loved and blessed by God. I am not certain where He is leading me but I have the feeling that getting a promotion has something to do with it. I’m over coming great fears. I am now smiling as I take on new challenges. So what if my anxiety is there? It’ll pass. I’m nervous about my new responsibilities and I know I’ll probably make some mistakes but it’s those mistakes that teach you to be better. You know, I’m a horrible public speaker despite the fact I talk too much. Could this job be the thing that gets me over that fear? I guess I will have to find out, but all I know is I am on a great journey and I’m not willing to let go of my God’s hand as he leads me through this journey.

Behind the smile:

Posted: April 5, 2011 in Storm
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I look at my calandar and I freeze. April. There is something about the month of April that just gets my moods all out of wack. I figured out that I’m Seasonal Bi-Polar, I get constant ups and downs certain seasons and the rest of the year I maintain a calm. The month of April is rough. Last April I suffered a 5 day anxiety attack, I maintained my smile through it all but some people noticed a change, I became withdrawn, I was fidgety and always seemed to be shivering. I could feel the constant tug of emotions. It wasn’t fun at all. Mood disorders never are fun unless your at the high points where joyful insanity kicks in but a crash is imminent and the crash is never good.

This is the month I dread. April. I’ve already given out 2 warnings to my husband, this time he’s taking them all seriously. So far I’ve been able to work things out. I’ve stopped drinking caffiene, I’ve given up on candy, I’m not touching a lot of chocolate, and I am taking those dreaded herbal remedies. But most of all I’m leaning on God and praying my tail off. God Got me through last November I know he can get me through April. Daily devotion is not only helping me mentally right now it’s benificial to me spiritually. My spirit is proud to say that I lean on an amazing and powerful God. I love God, I believe that Jesus Christ is my saviour, and I can honestly say that without God I would not be where I am. I don’t even think I’d be here at all. I have many many testimonies that are all too long to share, I have testimony of coming out of each storm. I’ve been in dark places that I thought I would be lost in forever. But here I am today to tell everyone that I’m happy, full of joy and prepared to fight a great battle that I face all the time.

I want to thank everyone for prayer and support through my dark times. You mean a lot to me. All my family, friends, even people who barely know me, you are all amazing. You put a real smile behind my smile. I don’t have to fake a smile then go home and mope on the bathroom floor for hours on end. I can laugh, I can gather the strength to rid myself of the darkness I face. This sad story of mine has so far produced happy endings.

This month, I’m not afraid of the storms that I know will come my way. And it’s all thanks to so many amazing prayers and a wonderful supportive God who goes beyond what I ask. I’m asking him to make sure I remember to take my herbal remedies for goodness sake 😛 There was a darkness behind the smile but where there is darkness HE will shine.

Matthew 6:34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow brings its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”