One of the hardest things to be in life is a good mother and wife. The Divorce rate is high, many couples do not even choose to get married and the government is getting rid of parental rights up left and center. Now try being a Christian Mother and wife in this society…it’s even tougher. But I’m not alone and this brings me great comfort.
One of the things I pray for most often is to be a good mother. My Daughter is 6 years old and a all of energy. She also happens to have a behavioral disorder (Possibly ADHD) and the reasoning behind that is she is in grade 1 and is constantly being sent home from school as she can not listen, sit down for long and is quite sensitive to the word “No.” Her teachers are exhausted and it is quite tough to focus on 1 child, and I know from experience that my daughter can be the center of attention. This calls for some major changes in Parenting and working along with teachers, caregivers and family members. We have to be on the same page otherwise the routine is broken and we have to begin all over again. It is quite tiring but nobody ever said raising a child was easy.
The biggest thing I have had to change is actually sticking to my words and threats. Telling a Child “If you do it again you are in time out!” Ten times with no action your child will know you are just issuing empty threats and they will continue. And some may find it unfair that I do not allow my child to have candy when they offer it to her but if she has a bad day and someone offers her treats, it’s just going to set things backwards. Yesterday I had a discussion with her teachers and Principal and we have set up a routine that helps her and enables the teachers to focus on other children as well. If she gets 5 warnings (Or 5 house pieces, 5 pieces of a puzzle that is displayed on the board) she is sent home and she does not like to go home. I have also implemented a 2 warning system after 2 warnings she is either in time out or loses privileges or rewards. Yesterday she had a great day at school up until the last 15 minutes, she acted out while I was talking with teachers. I had to threaten to take away her headphones if she did not listen and after the second warning had to follow through. She also lost out on getting ice cream as a treat after school. It really is tough not to reward your kids but I had to lay my foot down and stick with is despite the devastated look on her face.
It really is a challenge being a mom, it’s even more challenging to be a good mom.
Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. This verse could not be further from the truth. And I have realized as a child of God that God has laid down some rules and although some shake their heads at those rules and call them unfair they really aren’t. Often my daughter tells me that I am being unfair. I’m sure other parents have had this said to them multiple times. But if a parent does not lay down the law at home how can their child follow the laws of the real world. Often God reveals to me why we have rules, and nothing says this better than comparing his rules to road construction. If you are driving down a road and a person holding a stop sign stops you do you stop or just keep on going? What happens if you keep driving when someone tells you to stop? You will have a head on collision with another vehicle. The same applies with God’s word. Yes you can ignore the stop sign but do not be in shock when you end up in a head on collision.
Many of my future blogs will likely revolve around parenting, I’m up for a great challenge and I am in need of a lot of prayer, patience and most of all direction.
Most of the break ups that I have witnessed among people are couples who either can not work things out or a woman leaving because she feels she is not respected or loved…many a time it’s even a case as “Well, I wasn’t being treated like a queen.” What many fail to see is that Marriage is not a one way street it is something BOTH Husband and Wife have to work on. One can not do all the work alone. There will be storms in life and both Husband and Wife will have to face these storms together.
In the Bible it says that Woman was created from the ribs of the Man. This is very symbolic. If the Woman were created from the foot then she would be made to stomp on, if she were made from the hand she would be made to wait on and if she were made from the head she would be made to rule over man. But the Woman is made from the rib so that Man and Woman may walk side by side with each other. This indicates equality.
The Bible does not say that wives are to be submissive to their husbands…the meaning of the word “Submissive” is completely different. It does not mean the wife is to be a slave. If anything I find that women are very head strong, smart and we’re pretty tough too. (Also very stubborn). The word “Submissive” means that a wife is to not pull away from her husband at every disagreement, this means both Husband and wife are to talk things over without pulling away from one another. It means healthy arguments and not slammed doors. It means having a healthy discussion without yelling “That’s it! I want a Divorce! You never listen! I’m right You’re wrong!” I’m pretty sure God knows that the woman nature is we have a tenancy to always want to get our way…and we seem to nag and complain quite a bit. Put PMS, Menopause and hormonal changes into the mix and watch out! I know very well that I can hold quite the temper and my husband has experienced first hand what I’m capable of. Angry women are scary!
One of the biggest responsibilities of the wife is to be nurturing and encouraging to her Husband. Do you really think a Husband wants to come home to a Facebook status that says “Frankie never listens to me he’s such a jerk…he did this and this and this and he’s useless!” I see it all the time on Facebook and I hear it all the time from the mouths of women. In fact I even used to complain about all my husband’s faults when I was younger. But once I realized that it was better to look at the positives and boast about my husband instead of tear him down our marriage became stronger. I can testify to having an amazing husband who dearly loves me, he is a hard worker, provides for the family and is caring and will do anything to make me happy. Why would I not do the same? If I am being built up by his encouraging words then I should do the same and it makes a HUGE difference in marriage.
For a while I had been having problems with my Husband’s faith in God. Last year I’d confront him with comments like “You aren’t strong in the faith, why don’t you want to sit down and have a Bible study with me? You are just living the motions!” I had doubts, I figured he was going to church JUST because church was changing my attitude. I asked God for help but every time I did I still ended up getting angry and had no patience. But God works in different ways. I prayed about this situation at the last Ladies Retreat I went to. I placed the situation in God’s hands I I continued to be a loving supportive wife. A few months ago my husband began to listen to the Christian Radio station regularly to and from work, I had hit bumps in the road regarding my faith and he began to lift me up…I was so used to lifting him up that it came as a surprise. He lost his job a few weeks ago at Tim Horton’s and had more faith in finding better employment than I did. I was of little faith but he showed huge faith. He is now in construction, enjoying it, gets to listen to his Christian Radio every day still AND has met another fellow Christian on the job site. Coming from a workplace where everyone is so vulgar and the talk is dark it is such a blessing to know that he is in a much better environment and the change I have seen in him is absolutely amazing. Not only is he a loving husband he is beginning a deep walk with God and it makes my heart leap for joy seeing this. God changes people, he is capable of ANYTHING we just have to be faithful, loving and watch him work.
So my journey begins, and I hope this is a new direction. I’m sick of being dragged down by the daily grind. I am sick of being a Christian on Sunday only and not living it out the rest of the week…I have been beaten down, dragged around and I am tired…it is time for a new revival, it is time to wait upon the Lord.