I have decided to take a 10 week challenge and journal each day for 10 weeks (Although some blog posts may be a few days worth in one as I can be quite busy)
The point of this is I am going to focus on God each day, ask for revellations each day and journal about it. I belive that testimony and first hand experiences are much more effective than just throwing out scripture at people or letting them know of miracles in everyone else’s lives. I am purposely seeking God and allowing Him to lead me in my every day life.
And what a perfect day to begin this.
Let me start by saying that my morning began as a Natural Disaster, for the last few days I have faced major anxiety and it has been taking a toll on my health. I have recently been fired from a job (Although it’s probably a good thing as I didn’t have a heart to quit the job and I have 3 other jobs that I need to focus on), my 6 year old daughter has been acting up, my house is a write off, raccoons have destroyed all my nice neat tidy garbage, my eating habits suck and my world has been turned upside down and feels like I am in an earthquake with multiple aftershocks.
This morning I woke up at 5:30am, got out of bed after my husband left for work and proceeded to social media. I sat at my computer all morning…even though there really was not anything good on facebook and the news online was quite gloomy like it always is. And there is nothing worse than me stewing in self pity first thing in the morning. What does one do when throwing a pity party? Tell EVERYONE! So that’s what I did…except I kept it simple, I simply stated that I was still in a dark state and I needed God to help me. And then for the first time in a long time I went to God with my problem FIRST. I’m so low in the pickle barrel that I actually had no time to think things over and plan out stupid things…I needed God and I needed to pour it all out to him. So after I posted my status I immediately went to a song that tends to help me when I am in this state of mind.
Pillar: Let it out
I don’t know if we’ll ever really see the day
When we look around and we don’t know what to say
How did we lose our way? I don’t know if we’ll ever really see a change
If this is how we show our thanks, I think it’s time we rearrange
I don’t know if we’ll ever really break away
We’ve been holding on for so long now, I think we’re scared to run away
I don’t know if we ever really learned to pray
So, I drop down to my knees
And I cry out, “Can You help me, please?”
Let it out, can You hear me?
Can You hear me cry?
Let it out, don’t hold back, all this I got inside
Let it out, can You hear me?
Can You hear me cry?
Let it out, don’t hold back now
We’ve got to let it out
I don’t know if we’ll ever really be the same
Or could it be that we feel a sense of shame?
We forgot from where we came
I don’t know if we try to make it all a game
I think it’s time we take the blame
And get back, rekindle this flame
So, when I cry out, are You listening?
I know You can hear me, I know You can hear me
You’re my Comfort, can You hear me?
I know You can hear me, You’re my Comfort
Can You hear me? Can You hear me?
And I let it all out, I haven’t cried this much in a long time. You know one of those good bawlings where your breath is taken away? I cried my heart out. And I needed it. Then off I went to take my daughter to the bus stop. Then I went to ladies Bible Study (which is where I got this idea to blog)
So I asked God to show me some revelation…any little thing that is either a blessing or a miracle.
When I got home from Bible study I took my dog for a walk. There is nothing more fun than having my dog pull me when I am in an anxious state. She picks up on my emotions and acts accordingly, if I am anxious so is she. But alas I had to walk the pooch. Halfway through my walk I noticed she was heeling most of the time with th occassional need to sniff stuff. My dog has NEVER acted this way. For once, she walked so nicely. It was such a blessing to have my german Shepherd not try and pull my arm off. That in itself is a Miracle, I’ll take it.
I have also been praying for my daughter and her behaviour at school. She was kicked out of school yesterday and she is only in grade 1. I got the call from the school today…I looked at my phone, saw the number and hesitated. “Oh great, what did she do now?” I thought. I picked it up and it wasn’t a call regarding her beahiour it was simply her teacher letting me know she had an accident, a minor one, she walked into a door knob and got a nice shiner >< ahhh what a kid. She didn’t cry, just informed her teacher that the door attacked her. I questioned her behaviour today and the teacher has reported she’s amazing today and they have implemented a routine that works. Praise Jesus for good teachers these days! After the morning I had I am so happy to hear some wonderful news.
I’m excited about what can be revealed to me and what i can notice in my new state of mind. I just really need to walk with my Lord and trust Him. I really don’t care what others say, and I have a support group of Epic proportion. I am absolutely in love with my Saviour and it is about time I Let it all out!