I had one rule when I entered grade 11, “Stay single until college.” My mission was to just give up on guys and focus on my school work. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a good friend, I ruined a great friendship because I chose to date him. I was in love with my stalker, yes I had a stalker. Someone had left notes in my mailbox making me feel special, and whether they were a joke or not they were still very nice and they encouraged me. Maybe I should have called the cops but I just wasn’t creeped out by the cute notes. I entered Grade 11 in a “Don’t mess with me” attitude. I wore goth clothing, my hair was dyed red, I wore more makeup than Amy Winehouse and although I looked like a vampire I still wasn’t fooling anybody. For the most part I was always friendly even on bad days. I was the friendly neighborhood Punk/goth. Dressed the way I did, I never expected anyone to even look at me as a potential Girlfriend. I’ve actually never been asked out in my life, I’ve done all the asking.
I walked in to Natural Disasters class looking like one fine natural disaster. Wrist bands all the way up my arms, a dog collar around my neck, three chains hanging off my baggy army pants…yeah I was a mess. I was bored and the school outcast was sitting in front of me. This kid who I had actually prayed for the year before because I felt bad for him. I mean, he had the ugliest plaid jacket and he was always alone when I saw him. So I prayed that this kid would find his true love one day. I’m sure the girl he’d fall for would be average looking, kind of nerdy and lonely too…like me but I had an ego so I didn’t think I was a loser. Now this guy had a bag of chips, and I was drooling over those chips. The teacher put a video on, most of the class consisted of us watching disaster footage. I moved right up beside him, he looked at me and was probably thinking “OMG a girl is talking to ME!” He was nice, I was nice, I made him laugh, I felt good that I was being nice to the school outcast. He asked me if I wanted to be in his friends’ movie so I said “Yeah sure, why not?” and then I began to hang out with a few people. I was surprised to find out that the outcast had friends. Mr. Outcast had the lead role in the movie and there was supposed to be a kiss scene with him…I turned the lead lady role down immediately. In fact I was just happy to have people to chill out with, most were cool people. I attempted to hook Outcast up with a friend of mine (Candice) because I figured he was totally interested in her.
A few days later…he comes up to me in class and asks for my phone number. I refuse to give it to him. My classmates started to laugh at me. “Haha he likes you! Your gonna date!” I was horrified. I took him aside and told him “Look I don’t want to break your heart, your a nice guy and a great friend. I don’t want to date ANYONE right now. In fact I have some major emo issues. I throw fits, I’m depressed, I have anxiety, I get violent sometimes. Boyfriends just don’t ever help. Bad idea. You really don’t want to date me.” I was telling the truth. What does he do? He grabs the phone book, looks my name up, writes my number down AND calls me that very night! :O He was NOT giving up.
The above pic shows just how messed I was in grade 11. No, I didn’t dress like that, this was halloween and I was “Freak on a Leash” inspired by a Korn song. I listened to KORN when I was in high school…KORN!!! Anyways, why on earth would a guy want to date a freak? I dressed like a freak, acted like a freak and ate like a freak. But that guy persisted and kept bugging me to date him so eventually I said yes. I got laughed at, I had people confront me over it, I wanted to profess my love but I was embarrassed. I got upset, my boyfriend threatened to kill people but just got a slap on the wrist from the Vice Principal, I tried to reassure everyone that he would NEVER hurt anyone and that I was the crazy one and thus would be more likely to bring a gun to school and I ratted myself out and got a three day suspension. After that I can honestly say not too many people bothered me anymore. It was a stupid remark, I should never have said it buttt I’m glad I did because nobody bullied me anymore. Grade 11 was a roller coaster. I lost my best friend because I turned my life around and ditched her to go to a Christian Youth group. But even though I lost one friend, the most wonderful thing happened, my boyfriend got baptized and accepted Christ. And from that point forward we were Bible thumpers. I became bold all of a sudden but really had no spirit backing me up. We were two kids trying to get by on works that were just not working. It turned into a major disaster.
So many times I could have turned to God with issues but instead I was abusive towards my boyfriend. And he put up with it! He’s watched me put holes into walls, throw furniture around, injure myself. I was honestly a HUGE walking disaster waiting to happen. But he stayed through ALL my storms. He saved my life multiple times. He encouraged me to get better, he gave me the tough love needed to try and get better. He told me on our second date that we would get married, I laughed then but I’m not laughing now because he was right. The school’s outcast is Nick, My husband. So many people picked on him, so many people tried to drag him down but he just kept on going. He had to put up with me, there was no other guy in my high school that I can honestly say would put up with me. Nick was the only brave person. Nothing I did was bad enough for him to leave. He kept telling me that if he endures every single storm there will be a bigger rainbow on the other side. If I told certain people what I was REALLY like in High School they wouldn’t believe me.
I was a natural disaster that turned into that promised rainbow. I was a Punk princess who gave up her punk attitude and…well I sort of kept some of the style. You know, I prayed that Nick would find his true love. I told God to give him a nice geeky girl. Well, God gave him a nice geeky girl. I just never expected anything that I have now. But I have it and I feel so blessed. I wouldn’t change anything, all the good things and the bad things that I did in my storm of a past worked out for good. And as for God, even when I ignored him he was right there pushing me along and I am so excited to find out what great things I can accomplish ❤