The Richter Scale of Life

Posted: April 13, 2011 in disaster
Tags: , , ,

Here’s a litle education on the Richter scale. A Richter scale is what measures intensity of earthquakes. I came up with a lif version Richter scale that I thought I’d use in any future blogs about my disasters of life. I doubt people want to hear the happy, joyful news all the time…I’m sure my disasters are more amusing.

0-1: Very Minor Annoyance
Only detected by Seismometer
-Your Neighbour’s dogs bark for a few seconds…nothing unusual
-White noise

1-1.9: Minor annoyance
Still only detected by Siesmometer
-slightly annoying song on radio
– internet a wee bit slower than usual
-It’s getting a little bit warmer/colder in  the house

2-2.9: Annoyance
you can just feel earth tremble a bit
-Neighbour’s dog won’t shut up
-You drop something and have to pick it up
-Light turns red
-Longer than usual line at Tim Hortons

3-3.9: Moderate Annoyance
You certainly feel ground tremble but it’s nothing of concern
-You get up, open door and yell at Neighbour’s dogs
-You drop food on floor
-Stub toe lightly, enough to cause a small reaction
-coffee spills a bit onto your hand

4-4.9: Major annoyance
Stuff actually moves a bit…
-You yell at neighbour’s to tell them to shut their stupid dogs up
-You drop alot of food on the ground…like the whole turkey or cake
-you hit elbow off something
-something falls slightly ou of reach
-elastic breaks, socks get damp from random puddle on floor, it started to rain and you have no umbrella or jacket

5-5.9: Really BIG annoyance
Stuff not only moves it falls of shelves
-Throw Rock at Neighbour’s dogs
-hit head off something
-have to pay money to get something fixed…like the car or house
-ran out of cash, need to pay bills, can’t obviously pay them on time
-burnt dinner to point of trashing it
-Leafs lose again and you have to listen to Leaf’s nation fans complain
-Justin Bieber
-The Hills, Jersey Shore, Glee…MTV

6-6.9: Really, Really big annoyance
-Flooded basement
-Tree falls on house causing some damage
-You get cops called on you for harrassing the neighbour
-That guy shows up to shut your Hydro off
-phone disconnected, now you have to call phone company to re connect it and that could take weeks

7-7.9: Epic annoyance
Damage to buildings.
-an actual earthquake damages your home
-tree falls through house
-tree falls on car
-have to go for surgery
-child birth
-death of pet

8-8.9 Catastrophic annoyance
Total damages…
-your house is gone
-you become paralysed
-Diagnosed with cancer
-Zombie appocalypse happens
-death of friend/ family member

9-9.9 oh @#$% annoyance
-Total devastation
-Nuclear winter
-you die
-earth becomes a total wasteland
-The Borg show up and assymilate earth

10- An asteroid destroys planet…or something like that

  1. […] someone has hurt me I’d be lying if I said I knew how to forgive and forget – quickly. On a scale of 1-10, I average around a 3.5 and generally I say “ok I’m fine, it’s happened now let’s […]

  2. Kathylene says:

    like this post. Lots!

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