Here goes, I am writing on a subject that I know virtually NOTHING about. Fashion. I had a hard time finding the top 10 Spring fashions. So here it is (Do not take any pro fashion advice from me…EVER…unless I’m bashing feathers and drapes)
1. The Leather Jacket: You can accessorize with girlie stuff or Biker babe stuff…I’m thrilled, I have an adorable leather jacket and I so totally look forward to wearing my adorable leather jacket so yay I’m in style this spring! Can’t afford real leather? get fake leather…seriously I can’t tell the difference, it looks like leather from a distance and it’s cheaper. I’ve had plenty of fake leather jackets over the years.
2. Open toe Pumps or flats: Yeahh I have a pair of those, so uncomfortable. But I will totally buy a pair of open toe flats. The Heels just don’t work for me. I’ve always wondered, how do girls even survive a day in open toed pumps?
3. Yellow dresses: On second thought…stick with black.
4. Velvet clothing: Awesome I have velvet…that attracts pet hair, like really badly…is there such thing as a velvet that doesn’t act as a magnet to pet hair?
5. Military Jackets: I approve. Military jackets are hot, I also look good in green/grey…well at least I think I look good in green/grey.
6. Bold Prints: Like those bold floral prints! Apparently looking like grandma’s drapes is back in fashion!
7. The Midi Skirt: Long skirts…oh thank you Jesus, I won’t have to worry about wardrobe malfunction! I also won’t have to be subjected to being in front of a girl who’s wearing a waaaay to short skirt…we all know what happens when they bend over or a random gust of wind blows in. I’ve had it happen to me once…the guy in the car driving down the road was impressed. (I hope I didn’t know them).
8. Feathers and fringe: So you can have all the neighborhood cats following you wanting to rip apart your clothing! Just don’t wear a yellow feather dress unless you like the Big Bird look. Fringe is the same, all that dangly material is bait for cats.
9. Bold Stripes: Avoid black and white though.
10. One piece swimsuit: YES! Awesome, as a mother this is great news. yes I am admitting to numerous bikini wardrobe malfunctions as the result of a clingy kid pulling on my bikini top >< People saw, it wasn’t good.
There you have it, some of the top fashions of spring. Will I follow them? Some. Am I going to continue wearing Jeans and T-shirts? Probably. But take my advice…please don’t let me catch you in feathers EVER! Who the heck comes up with this fashion crap anyway?